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breaking the silence of suicide. *emotional | seattle vlog

As some of you may know, I went on a trip to Washington w/ my best friend back in September & although I came to visit Taylor’s homeland and spend time with her family alongside learning about her native culture.. the biggest reason was to attend a suicide awareness event held by Taylor’s tribe at Squaxin Island Reservation which is where she’s from. Not only did I go to support my bestest friend during a really sensitive & fragile time but to have a sense of healing for myself as well. Where do I begin. I lost my grandfather to a horrific alcohol & drug intentional overdose and lost one of my dearest friends that hung herself on a lamp post on a thick foggy cold night in a park. The reason why I’m being specific is because I want you to see a glimpse of my reality and how much it hurts... being reminded that it actually happened & this is real life. There’s no way around saying this, but I myself have overcome attempt of taking my own life. I’ve struggled w/ anxiety & depression since my early teen years and hurt myself until I was basically given an ultimatum to choose between harming myself or the love of my life. I caused so much distress on him during my weakest times. I’m not going to pretend like everything now is rainbows and butterflies but this event was a huge wake up call for me. Hearing all the traumatizing stories from families loosing their loved ones, hit deep. Deeper than you can imagine. We all cried together. All. Day. Long. My heart still hurts, but after listening to these stories and personally going through the post trauma of loosing close friends & family from suicide it makes me realize that even when it feels impossible to push through for myself, I need to for my loved ones, because no one ever deserves to go through what we go through after loosing them. Maybe one day I'll have enough courage to share my experiences, but in the meantime... let me know if that's something you'd want to hear from me. Don’t ever for one moment think that you are not worthy of this earth. Remind yourself everyday that you are important and you are loved. If you or someone you love have a moment of doubt, please talk to somebody. You are not alone. ❤️

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Canon | G7X mark II
Edited with: Final Cut Pro X
(MacBook Pro)

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