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Should You Get Married, Or Have Children During Graduate School? - PhD Programs, Pregnancy, & Kids Video

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Are you thinking about getting married or having children during graduate school? In this video, I explain the complexities of either having a baby in grad school or being married in grad school, and their effects in academia. For simplicity, I summarize having a baby during grad school and getting married in graduate school as building a family. Here are some points that you should consider when building a family in graduate school.

1. Productivity. Your research productivity might fall because you have less time to spend on research. However, building a family, such as marriage in grad school, might actually increase because you are motivated at providing for your family.

2. Moral Support. Doing research is a very long-term and socially isolating endeavor, with a very long-term payoff. Having a family and moral support might help you fend off depression as you slog through the research game.

3. Social Trust. While it is often not explicitly disclosed, there is a strong norm against having children in academia. Some might fear that building a family erodes social trust in academia. And, this might be a stronger social pressure for women. That’s probably stems from to norms that have developed. First one is the “Iron Man” norm, based on the idea that “it was tough for me, so it should be tough for you.” The other relates to fears from potential colleagues about short-term losses.

4. Selection Pressures And Sunk Costs. It took a tremendous amount of effort to get into graduate school, and because of this effort you often want to exploit your time as much as possible. After all, academia is a competition to publish more than everyone else. You’ll have to be willing to overcome a self-focus, and be willing to start give back.

5. Missing Out On Social Events. One reason people continue with graduate school because they like the school life. However, with a family, you will have to give up many of these obligations and opportunities to commit to your family. Of course, having an ‘default excuse’ is also often a nice to have.

In general, building a family in graduate school is entirely a personal choice. There are substantial benefits but also some costs to building a family in graduate school. It is up to you to choose and structure your life, such has getting married or having children in grad school, independent of what other people may say.

References:

Kellogg, K.C. 2012. Making the cut: Using status-based countertactics to block social movement implementation and microinstitutional change in surgery. Organization Science. 23(6) 1546-1570.

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As a research professor of entrepreneurship, innovation, and business strategy, I discuss topics, such as behavioral science, strategy, innovation, and entrepreneurship, and apply these to my new peer proofreading and editing platform. Topics include the sharing economy, altruism, investing in technology, and bounded rationality. My favorite videos pertain to incentives, goal setting, and learning from failure to drive behaviors such as weight loss, stopping telemarketers, creating novel technologies, and creating new movements.

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